Unemployment | Secret Gardens

Hey there and welcome to the first topic in the Secret Garden series. I write this from a place of having just started re-entering employment and learning, after my first few weeks, that there’s something to glean from this career-limbo. “unemployment rate” is one of the more frequently keyed-in google searches, and one of the first things that a party in the running for election will claim to be able to favourably adjust- if only they had your vote.

While I don’t undermine the economic struggle that countless families around the world are facing because of unemployment, I share my lived enlightenment here, and perhaps it will even change your perspective.

What employment has taught me.

• Intrinsic v extrinsic value.

In my last few jobs, I perceived that my worth was measured in my ability to do my job well. Since I have a fairly strong work ethic, this was fine for a while, but the first time I made a big enough mistake for my boss to get genuinely angry, I swelled with emotion and felt that I suddenly had no value to add to the company. This wasn’t the truth, but I doubled my efforts to make sure never to be in that position again- burnout be damned. If I am what I do, then I better be good at it.

For  similar reasons, I always struggled to say no when somebody asked for my help or for a favour. I usually ended up taking on way too many tasks and running myself into the ground. Why? Because I needed more self-validation. I needed the world to see me as a list of accomplishments- and be impressed by what they saw.

I have since learnt that there’s no point in placing your value in something you do. My gran always says that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. That’s true, but nothing is worth more than you; value needs to come from within. When you look in the mirror, are you seeing yourself or a list of checked and unchecked boxes?

As a christian, I think I finally get what it means to place my identity in Christ. I’m not threatened to my core if I have a bad day at work or break a glass at my friend’s house. I apologise, I clean up after myself and I try to do better next time, but my soul is intact.

• Constant learning/ professional development is key.

I take any and every opportunity at work to do a course, undergo training or ask questions. This usually ends up making those tedious tasks at the office far more manageable and interesting because I’ve stumbled upon some hack or code that’ll fix it for me. Half the fun is in seeing how far I can stretch the new-found knowledge and how it relates to what I already knew (or thought I knew).

Life-coaches Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, in their Designing Your Life course, speak about making 1% positive changes amidst the daily mundane or chaos. The idea is in stacking all those little bits of positivism, which can add up to making your day-to-day feel fully charged. If  taking an online course will teach you how to use Excel more efficiently and make handing in that report or managing that database even slightly more bearable, it’s worth it.

When the job starts feeling monotonous, ask your boss what courses/ training/ professional development they can offer you to help you do your work more efficiently. It’ll give you something to look forward to and everyone that your work effects will be thankful for the improvement. As an added bonus, your employers are likely to respect the drive you’ve shown (and keep showing) which, if nothing else, will heighten your respect for yourself.

• Keep work and friendship separate.

I learnt this one the hard way. Obviously it’s good to get along with your colleagues, but once it gets personal, you run the risk of things potentially getting really awkward. Perhaps Keep your work friends separate from your close friends would be a better title, but the important thing here is context. By all means go for drinks after work with your fellow staff members and have lunch together, but don’t do it one-on-one with someone who might be in it for something more personal.

That being said,  a colleague at the office can often turn into one of your longest-lasting friendships. That’s an anomaly, but if you are chasing that story, remember: Avoid hanging out with your employer outside of the office, especially if there’s a risk of something romantic (or awkwardly one-sided) going down. If your employer has any more integrity than what a few cents can buy, then you’ll never have to draw this line yourself. If you are the employer, that line should be a solid wall.

• Money doesn’t (always) buy happiness.

But it does pay for the things that bring sunset shades to your life. Don’t underestimate the value of investing, saving and being generous. That last one may seem out of place, but I can’t emphasise it enough. Generosity has a way of working its way back to you when you need it most so, when you have an abundance, give to those who aren’t sure whether they’ll make it through the month. Give to your church. Give to your family.

Yes. Give, but don’t be stupid. Seek wisdom if you’re torn between saving and paying another’s bills. As someone once told me, sometimes you have to be successful to be significant. It can be helpful to figure out what your generosity looks like in its best form and draw up a plan of maximum influence. Meditate on your decisions and figure out how you can be generous along the way from here to significance without putting that plan in jeopardy.

What unemployment has taught me.

• Don’t freak out.

Welcome to when the shit hits the fan. You’ll notice we managed to save the drapes.

Don’t panic. Your life isn’t over, and it isn’t paused either. Everything is ticking on as it should and the sun still rises and sets as it should. You have merely arrived at a cross-roads. You may choose which path to take:
– You were made for this: You might lose an arm or a leg, or an eye, but it’ll be bloody exciting.
– A really smart career move: Not the Jungle adventurer type? Right, well then it’s time to take stock and figure out a game plan.

For those of us not (yet) lucky enough for the above roads to be one and the same: Will you keep on pursuing money over passion? Do you have what it takes to get into the industry your heart has yearned for, for years? Or have you decided to bite the bullet and do what it takes to achieve somebody’s definition of success?

I don’t think there is a straight-forward right or wrong choice here. circumstance will make all the difference, but make sure you’re all in either way. Personally I tend to have one foot on each road, in an attempt to eventually wear thin the land betwixt and do what I was made for en route to a shining career. To date this is a dream, and I can just take small steps in the meantime. Sometimes a blog series is a step, sometimes accepting a job in an unexpected industry is a step. The point is to keep stepping.

• Know your why.

I’m beyond-words grateful for the season of unemployment I’ve had. It took me almost 2 months to stop freaking out and realise the potential of the season I was in; for the first time in a really long time, I had the time to really write. Getting my work out there is paramount to the I was made for this path progression, but I’d been so invested in the career path for so long, I’d forgotten that my dream was still achievable and in my hands.

Thanks to the past season, I’m a whole lot closer to becoming a full-time writer- and it’s been worth every lost cent. Writing has been something I was drawn to from a preliterate age, and I knew straight away that I wanted to be an author. My problem is diligence, dedication and discipline. I waste hours and days not writing a thing, even though I know that it’s what I want more than anything else. There’s a deep-set fear I have that sings to a chorus of If I never try, then I’ll never fail. True as that may be, I’ll never succeed either. Some days I’m prolific. Other days, I might write a useful handful of words- or nothing at all.

In conquering this dragon, I’ve found that I’m responsive to a tough-love approach of those closest to me. Sometimes, I need them to call me out on my BS and tell me to suck it up and write. Sometimes I need them to remind me that I’m the one in control. Sometimes I need them to just read some of what I’ve already written. It differs, but the common denominator remains that I need reminders of why I want to be a writer. I need nudges to sit down and reflect on the path I’m on and where it’s going.

My most important why for being a writer, is that it’s the truest expression of myself, I love doing it, and I’m good at it. So, when I’m struggling with my value as a job-seeker, I pour that energy into becoming a better writer and therein lies my most authentic contribution to society and to myself.

Even in unemployment, where feelings of being a leech on society threaten to derail your mind and steal your sleep, there’s the gift of time enough to figure out where you are, where you want to be and how to get there.